True..

Okie so i wasz told by some1 real special 2 meh tht dey dnt feel gud bein around meh since dha day dey met meh. wen i wasz told tht, i got a sick feelin in mah stomach. i felt sad/mad/stupid. i wasz sad cause i jus didnt [[or i mean dnt]] really understand why dey feel lyk. i have told tht person so many timesz tht ima alwaysz b der 4 dem n tht ill alwaysz try 2 help dem.. buht turnsz out dey have a hard time tellin meh. i wasz mad becuz iht took him more den a year 2 tell meh.. after all dha timesz tht i had told him 2 alwaysz trust meh n 2 alwaysz tell meh hisz problemsz.. he had a big problem [[tht wasz bout meh]] n didnt tell meh til couple daysz ago. nd i feel stupid becuz i feel lyk wenever I had a gud time tlkin 2 tht person, iht turnsz out tht he wasznt even comfortable tlkin 2 meh. i had so many mixed emtionsz in meh tht night. i didnt knoe wuht 2 think, say, or feel. i tried 2 not let him knoe i wasz cryin [[thtsz y i did mah silent cry]] i dnt lyk iht wen ppl knoe i cried cuz den i feel weak. i only tell some1 if iht really effectsz meh.. he had sent meh a txt after i finished tlkin 2 him tht night n i didnt wanna reply. idk wuht 2 say. i felt lyk i didnt wanna tlk 2 him... right now iht still hurtsz buht i kinda understand tht he did iht so he wnt hurt meh. i still got a lot of love n respect 4 him. many ppl ask meh y i let him hurt meh. n ihtsz cuz i really got love 4 him. n i jus dnt wanna let him go. mayb he wantsz 2 let meh go.. buht i knoe i dnt wanna let go...

wuht happened..

Why isz iht tht wen u luv some1 so much n care bout dem a lot.. tht all dey do isz hurt u? or tht sometimesz u luv some1 n otha ppl jus tell u 2 4geht him/her? dha past few monthsz been hard 4 meh. havin family and friend problemsz. iht seemsz lyk im losin everybody. wen i count on ppl 2 b der 4 meh... der not cuz dey left meh already. ppl say i changed n i aint gunna aruge wit tht cuz i have. sometimesz i think wen i started 2 change n.. i think i knoe. everybody knowsz wen i been depressed or worried. i dnt have 2 tell dem anythin n dey knoe already. dey knoe y i been depressed 4 so long. sometimesz i cry n think of wuht im becomin. jus a few monthsz ago iht wasz all gud. sometimesz i b havin problemsz buht i wasz strong enough 2 jus 4geht bout dem. n now i cry mahself 2 sleep thinkin bout tht cuz ihtsz hardd. now i cnt listen 2 songs tht meant so much 2 meh bahk den becuz dey bring bahk gud memoriesz.. gud memoriesz i dnt have anymoe.. ppl sometimesz tell meh everythin will pass by n geht betta. ihtsz been around 3 or 4 monthsz n im still dha same [[not in a gud wayy]] sometimesz ppl hurt meh lyk fuckk buht i cnt leave dem cuz i knoe ill b worse. mah brother saysz im different cuz wit dha otha gurlsz dey scared 2 geht hurt n i dnt care if i geht hurtt all i want isz 2 b happy.. n der only 2 way 2 b lyk tht.. i done so many bad thingsz in dha past n now im startin 2 admit dem which isz a gud thing buht i start 2 realize tht i shouldnt b livin lyk thisz. alwaysz cryin n feelin all depressed. i use 2 stay uhp tlkin all nite 2 some1 i really care bout. i didnt care if i got in trouble or anythin [[even doe 1 time i did n somethin bad happened wit meh n mom]] buht i didnt care wuht happened, all i wanted 2 do isz tlk 2 tht person.. now..... we hardly tlk n iht makesz meh sad.. sometimesz i feel lyk he dnt care bout meh.. or tht he jus dnt realize how much he hurt meh n im still here 4 him. all i knoe isz tht lyf 4 meh isz mad hard n idk how long iht will go lyk thisz.. jus knoee im still IN luv wit chu.....