True..

Okie so i wasz told by some1 real special 2 meh tht dey dnt feel gud bein around meh since dha day dey met meh. wen i wasz told tht, i got a sick feelin in mah stomach. i felt sad/mad/stupid. i wasz sad cause i jus didnt [[or i mean dnt]] really understand why dey feel lyk. i have told tht person so many timesz tht ima alwaysz b der 4 dem n tht ill alwaysz try 2 help dem.. buht turnsz out dey have a hard time tellin meh. i wasz mad becuz iht took him more den a year 2 tell meh.. after all dha timesz tht i had told him 2 alwaysz trust meh n 2 alwaysz tell meh hisz problemsz.. he had a big problem [[tht wasz bout meh]] n didnt tell meh til couple daysz ago. nd i feel stupid becuz i feel lyk wenever I had a gud time tlkin 2 tht person, iht turnsz out tht he wasznt even comfortable tlkin 2 meh. i had so many mixed emtionsz in meh tht night. i didnt knoe wuht 2 think, say, or feel. i tried 2 not let him knoe i wasz cryin [[thtsz y i did mah silent cry]] i dnt lyk iht wen ppl knoe i cried cuz den i feel weak. i only tell some1 if iht really effectsz meh.. he had sent meh a txt after i finished tlkin 2 him tht night n i didnt wanna reply. idk wuht 2 say. i felt lyk i didnt wanna tlk 2 him... right now iht still hurtsz buht i kinda understand tht he did iht so he wnt hurt meh. i still got a lot of love n respect 4 him. many ppl ask meh y i let him hurt meh. n ihtsz cuz i really got love 4 him. n i jus dnt wanna let him go. mayb he wantsz 2 let meh go.. buht i knoe i dnt wanna let go...

wuht happened..

Why isz iht tht wen u luv some1 so much n care bout dem a lot.. tht all dey do isz hurt u? or tht sometimesz u luv some1 n otha ppl jus tell u 2 4geht him/her? dha past few monthsz been hard 4 meh. havin family and friend problemsz. iht seemsz lyk im losin everybody. wen i count on ppl 2 b der 4 meh... der not cuz dey left meh already. ppl say i changed n i aint gunna aruge wit tht cuz i have. sometimesz i think wen i started 2 change n.. i think i knoe. everybody knowsz wen i been depressed or worried. i dnt have 2 tell dem anythin n dey knoe already. dey knoe y i been depressed 4 so long. sometimesz i cry n think of wuht im becomin. jus a few monthsz ago iht wasz all gud. sometimesz i b havin problemsz buht i wasz strong enough 2 jus 4geht bout dem. n now i cry mahself 2 sleep thinkin bout tht cuz ihtsz hardd. now i cnt listen 2 songs tht meant so much 2 meh bahk den becuz dey bring bahk gud memoriesz.. gud memoriesz i dnt have anymoe.. ppl sometimesz tell meh everythin will pass by n geht betta. ihtsz been around 3 or 4 monthsz n im still dha same [[not in a gud wayy]] sometimesz ppl hurt meh lyk fuckk buht i cnt leave dem cuz i knoe ill b worse. mah brother saysz im different cuz wit dha otha gurlsz dey scared 2 geht hurt n i dnt care if i geht hurtt all i want isz 2 b happy.. n der only 2 way 2 b lyk tht.. i done so many bad thingsz in dha past n now im startin 2 admit dem which isz a gud thing buht i start 2 realize tht i shouldnt b livin lyk thisz. alwaysz cryin n feelin all depressed. i use 2 stay uhp tlkin all nite 2 some1 i really care bout. i didnt care if i got in trouble or anythin [[even doe 1 time i did n somethin bad happened wit meh n mom]] buht i didnt care wuht happened, all i wanted 2 do isz tlk 2 tht person.. now..... we hardly tlk n iht makesz meh sad.. sometimesz i feel lyk he dnt care bout meh.. or tht he jus dnt realize how much he hurt meh n im still here 4 him. all i knoe isz tht lyf 4 meh isz mad hard n idk how long iht will go lyk thisz.. jus knoee im still IN luv wit chu.....

11o9o8....

the moment u said "thisz dnt feel rite"

i knew it wasz ova between u n i.

i regret wuht i did in the past

cause i lost u at last. u still mean

everythin 2 meh n thtsz no lie,

all i eva wanted wasz 4 u 2 b

by mah side. i still tlk 2 u n

i wish u n meh wasz still

2gehtha buht thtsz

only a dream tht i hope 2 accomplish

4eva. i knoe theresz some1 else

buht i wish i could keep

u 2 mahself. u dnt even

knoe how much the pain hurtsz.

sometimesz i feel lyk thisz isz jus a

curse. i wish how thingsz use 2 b so plz

baby dnt make meh leave. i write thisz

song 2 share wit u bout mah feelinsz

tht fall 4 u...

mah feelin 4 u

okiesz where 2 start... well obviously ima b sad bout thisz whole thing. i mean i didnt think u wasz gunna geht a gurl so fast.. i mean idk how long yall been goin out, idk if it wasz wen u n meh wasz 2gehtha or wen we broke up, idk tht shitt. buht i aint gunna tell u not 2 b wit her or anythin lyk tht. i aint tht type of person. so i aint gunna say tht a bad thing 2 do or i aint even gunna think bout sayin tht shitt 2 u cuz then thtsz fucked up. buht of couresz im sad bout it.. i aint gunna lie.. she seem lyk a great gurl. im pretty sure u gunna b happier wit her anywaysz.. i put u through a lot of shitt n i neva ment 4 tht 2 happen..... so im pretty sure u gunna b happy wit her.. i hope tht thingsz go great between yall buht if they dnt [[i hope they do though]] mayb.. we can give usz a 2nd chance.. or i mean 3rd chance.. buht 4 rite now i think ima stop tryin 2 geht u bahk... of couresz i aint want 2 buht rite now i think u gunna b a helluh happier wit her.. n mayb itsz the best 4 u anyway.. i mite not b happy buht if i c u happy then imma b happy.. jus rememba tht u ALWAYSZ gunna have a spot in mah heart, b mah #1, mah speical person, mah 1st luv, mah friend, fuck it even mah best friend. u gunna b all of tht 2 meh even if we aint 2gehtha no moe.. n all tht shit i jus said ima promise u isz gunna b all tht 2 meh.. i wish i could promise tht u aint gunna lose meh buht i cnt promise somethin tht i dnt think i can complete 100% i mean of couresz i want 2 make it a promise buht idk wuht gunna happen between u n her or between meh n u or even the future. i dnt knoe tht shitt. if i did i would promise u tht. buht i cnt rite now.... n im sry tht i cnt promise u tht. buht imma tell u rite now tht u aint gunna lose meh [[no promise]] buht 4 now u still got meh..... even as jus a friend [[which i wish we wasz moe then tht]].. buht i can promise u somethin else... im ALWAYSZ gunna b here 4 u. even if we aint 2gehtha no moe imma b here 4 u. even if we b fightin or shitt lyk tht ima b here 4 u. n i promise u tht. if u eva need some1 2 tlk 2 or hang wit or jus 2 b with ima b here 4 u..... dnt think im sayin gudbye or any shit lyk tht im jus sayin how i b feelin. i still got a lot of luv 4 u, a lot of respect 4 u, n i still care bout u a lot.. n i hope we can give USZ anotha chance.. i mean hope u n ur gurl work out great n tht u b happy wit her buht u knoe im still gunna b thinkin bout u all the time n bout usz.. so yea.. thisz how i b feelin lately n it comin from the heart... jus knoe dayshawn tht ima alwaysz luv u even if we aint 2gehtha n im alwaysz gunna b here 4 u..... i luv u

bahk then...

wen i think bout u i imagine ur face,

think bout the memoriesz tht u jus cnt take

i want the pain to go away so quick buht i knoe itsz

gunna take jus a lil bit moe

i jus feel lyk runnin away jus 2 geht may

problemsz out of mah way

how can 1 single person break meh down,

i neva thought it would happen now

all we tlk bout is wuht happened 2day

buht we neva even knoe if there will b anotha day

i luv it wen u say "i luv u baby gurl"

buht i also knoe tht ur lovin anotha gurl

we been through a lot i cnt even believe tht

were still 2gehtha n thatsz jus wuht i need

even though i geht hurt some of the time

i cnt let u go cuz i need u

by mah side

u decided 2 4geht her buht i c in ur eyesz

tht ur also really hurtin deep inside

i wanna take ur pain so u will b glad

i feel lyk itsz all mah fault 4 makin u sad

i jus want u 2 b happy

moe than meh cuz i kno once i c u smile,

tht would set meh free

i knoe u wanna take the pain buht u knoe

wuht baby, tht aint ur game

we tlk bout our memoriesz tht happened

long ago buht i hope we got

moe 2 go..

[[wrote thisz a long time ago..]]

Pain..

Pain

i wish thisz pain would go away, im tired of cryin
every day hopin that it will someday..
sometimesz i feel lyk runnin away buht i knoe
that aint mah type of game...

it all started out wen i wasz 5 or 6, i didnt knoe mah lyf
wasz such a bitch. i think bout the memoriesz i been through,
i dnt even knoe where to begin to. i didnt think mah lyf wasz
gunna b lyk thisz, thisz isz jus a plain twist that makesz meh piss
i lost mah bro wen i wasz young as fuck i think thatsz y i feel so
unluved

[[chorus]]
i want the pain to go away, to start mah day i knoe that
aint gunna happen cuz that jus a phase. i wish the pain
would stop buht then i mite lose mah spot, mah spot to
live lyf whether it sucksz or not


i aint got nobody to look up to, or anyone to relie to. i wanna b
strong bout thisz buht sometimesz it makesz meh weak lyk a
lil puppy on the street. i still got dem tearsz rollin down mah face,
even though it been yearsz since momma been away.
i b down on mah kneesz cryin n prayin to god askin him y all thisz
satrted from the start


[[chorus]]
i want the pain to go away, to start mah day i knoe that
aint gunna happen cuz that jus a phase. i wish the pain
would stop buht then i mite lose mah spot, mah spot to
live lyf whether it sucksz or not


itsz hard to live lyf through all thisz bullshit, i cnt give up
or then i aint got no lyf bitch. i think bout dem familesz
that can realate to meh buht i knoe there moe who got it worse
den meh. all i can say isz keep ur head up high cuz soon we'll
b the onesz lookin down from the sky


[[chorus]]
i want the pain to go away, to start mah day i knoe that
aint gunna happen cuz that jus a phase. i wish the pain
would stop buht then i mite lose mah spot, mah spot to
live lyf whether it sucksz or not..

iloveyou

Thingsz i drew b4..

it wasz ova..

afta..

now..

iloveyou..

alwaysz n 4eva