wuht happened..

Why isz iht tht wen u luv some1 so much n care bout dem a lot.. tht all dey do isz hurt u? or tht sometimesz u luv some1 n otha ppl jus tell u 2 4geht him/her? dha past few monthsz been hard 4 meh. havin family and friend problemsz. iht seemsz lyk im losin everybody. wen i count on ppl 2 b der 4 meh... der not cuz dey left meh already. ppl say i changed n i aint gunna aruge wit tht cuz i have. sometimesz i think wen i started 2 change n.. i think i knoe. everybody knowsz wen i been depressed or worried. i dnt have 2 tell dem anythin n dey knoe already. dey knoe y i been depressed 4 so long. sometimesz i cry n think of wuht im becomin. jus a few monthsz ago iht wasz all gud. sometimesz i b havin problemsz buht i wasz strong enough 2 jus 4geht bout dem. n now i cry mahself 2 sleep thinkin bout tht cuz ihtsz hardd. now i cnt listen 2 songs tht meant so much 2 meh bahk den becuz dey bring bahk gud memoriesz.. gud memoriesz i dnt have anymoe.. ppl sometimesz tell meh everythin will pass by n geht betta. ihtsz been around 3 or 4 monthsz n im still dha same [[not in a gud wayy]] sometimesz ppl hurt meh lyk fuckk buht i cnt leave dem cuz i knoe ill b worse. mah brother saysz im different cuz wit dha otha gurlsz dey scared 2 geht hurt n i dnt care if i geht hurtt all i want isz 2 b happy.. n der only 2 way 2 b lyk tht.. i done so many bad thingsz in dha past n now im startin 2 admit dem which isz a gud thing buht i start 2 realize tht i shouldnt b livin lyk thisz. alwaysz cryin n feelin all depressed. i use 2 stay uhp tlkin all nite 2 some1 i really care bout. i didnt care if i got in trouble or anythin [[even doe 1 time i did n somethin bad happened wit meh n mom]] buht i didnt care wuht happened, all i wanted 2 do isz tlk 2 tht person.. now..... we hardly tlk n iht makesz meh sad.. sometimesz i feel lyk he dnt care bout meh.. or tht he jus dnt realize how much he hurt meh n im still here 4 him. all i knoe isz tht lyf 4 meh isz mad hard n idk how long iht will go lyk thisz.. jus knoee im still IN luv wit chu.....